Üºconfessions of a shopaholicºÜ

2005-08-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

WHOOPS. 3 months pala..so sorry :)

FINALLY!

2005-08-15T22:24:00.000-07:00

there! its my first time to update after uh....i dont know 5 months? a LOT of things happend during those 5 months duh. and i dont have the energy to write it all down so check out my multiply. check out the links! tag if you want :)

2005-06-14T01:47:00.001-07:00

JUST BE YOUSELF.

WHY CANT YOU BE MORE SIMPLE?

2 phrases leading to opposite directions. those phrases haunt me with every single move i make. whenever i shop for shoes, clothes, earrings, jeans, skirts, pencils, erasers, notebooks.... (agh whats wrong with me???)

im all jumbled up.

i want to be a witch!! or a vampire... :) i find em cool!

2005-06-14T01:47:00.000-07:00

WHY CANT YOU BE MORE SIMPLE?
JUST BE YOUSELF.

2 phrases leading to opposite directions. those phrases haunt me with every single move i make. whenever i shop for shoes, clothes, earrings, jeans, skirts, pencils, erasers, notebooks.... (agh whats wrong with me???)

im all jumbled up.

i want to be a witch!! or a vampire... :) i find em cool!

2005-06-14T01:29:00.000-07:00

ack..first day of school tomorrow.. *JOY....sigh...goodbye summer :( 2005---> saddest year ever.. hoping for a better year next year (huh???) i cant wait to see my friendssss.. and friday after school...lets go out! :) k, ill update this tomorrow.. or some other day.. bye freaks (pls dont take it seriously, love you!!)

*weird ako eh

2005-06-12T03:21:00.000-07:00

went to eastwood 2 days ago..(nail tropics) and i went to eastwood again yesterday with phil, nikka and alex..A LOT LIKe LOVE!!! ASHTON KUTCHER..sigh...:) and we celebrated the birthday of my sister awhile ago....yay, my dad made it..and he sent my sister flowers! guess i misjudged my daddy...haha.. my sister and i had a fight yesterday..haha..and i said really mean stuff to her.. my dad said..."phippa dont call your sister those names pagtiyagan mo na because she's sick...." haha..thanks can i tell her that? hahah!! i want to go to the states with my dad and SHOP THERE TILL I DROP DEAD! yikes.. 3 more days of summer...ack! i am 50%excited and 50%tinatamad...i really dont like it when people insert Hs sa names nila.. and sa ibang words na dapat naman walang H..its annoying..and the you-me language (nasan you? dito na me.) .. and the making (insert tagalog verb here) language..as in yung LAGIng ganon..tapos serioso pa sila.. yung mga ganon panggago lang eh :)) like when youre bored/you just want to laugh. and i saw this from some persons blog..: "grrr..nakaka bwxct talaga.." hahahah!! bwxct?!?

ok ok finish na me
i have to make tapos this one na
grr my throat is making paos my voice
nakaka-bwxct!

nyahah..im BORED eh

2005-06-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

tues: went out with kate and shelly..

wed:went out with my sister and my mom

thurs: i have to sleep in our guestroom...grrr... the blinds in our room are out for cleaning

incoming!!!!!!!!

fri: nail salon with my sister and friend

sat: happy birthday ate trish! libre libre!!

sunday: bday celebration with relatives..dad i cant believe youre letting your new job get in the way of your daughter's birthday :( tsk

2005-06-04T02:18:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to my friend mike :) sorry cant go to your partaaaay (gaaahh...i badly want to go) lets go out next week with mr. hot tuna and mrs. hot headed..(just kidding!!)

im currently suffering from insomnia..i woke up awhile ago, 3:00 am to go the the bathroom and after that i couldnt sleep anymore.. weird..i didnt go out today.. just swam and i tried to get a tan here by our pool..tsk..i did NOT succeed.

yeahhhhy!! my friends (from 1-2) and i are gonna go out on monday..i miss them na :)

see you guys on monday!!

you know you love me..not

2005-06-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

i have NOTHING to do today... i refuse to do anything because of my laziness.. and because of my constant laziness, im starting to gain weight. aaacckk!! we're all getting fat in this house!! my mom, my dad and us sisters. gaaah... oh yeah, for my bored friends, add my third friendster account. its my last. ill blog again next time when i have something significant to share (unlike this one)

2005-05-30T22:10:00.000-07:00

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forhead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, wait for the only one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

hmmm...

ill call you handsome instead of hot
ill call you back if you hang up on me
ill stay awake just to watch you sleep
ill kiss your forehead
ill show you off to my friends even if youre in your sweats
ill hold your hand in front of everyone
illconstantly remind you of how much i care about you
and how lucky i am to have you

ill turn to my friends and tell them..."thats him.."

thats more like it...:)

2005-05-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

aaaahh!! i have to postpone the sleepover again..but i guess its alright..i watched house of wax again yesterday with venica, abby, michelle, dan and pancho. but i was with venica most of the time..she's so tall na!!! as in.. taaaaalll... hahah.. ill blog again next time, bye!

"sometimes you forget where the heart is.."

2005-05-28T07:11:00.000-07:00

grrrr, theres sumthn wrong with the computer i cant go to any multiply sites so that means i cant make that 7th grade album thing i was talkin about there (look at my previous entry) grr!! i didnt go to the festival bcause i had this etiquette lesson..hmm..my sister and i watched house of wax yesterday..ughh..im never gonna eat again!! i ate a bucket full of taco chips with garlic cream sauce, cheese and beef during the movie..ugh...bad move...the movie's so friggin gross!! we were planning to eat sa cibo after the movie for dinner.. i ended up not eating dinner because i was too damn nauseus(spell check?) because of the movie because it was so gruesome and bcause because because...i dont wanna talk about it na..hahah..lab0!! :) ill blog again tomorrow!

"........there are many things that i would like to say to you but i dont know how..coz maybe youre gonna be the one that saves me..and after all you were my wonderwall....."were.. and hopefully..will be..again?

ayun..TUMPAK

2005-05-26T03:27:00.000-07:00

why do i have this urge to be more friendly? no, im not feeling mabait or anything i just have this WEIRD URGE..weird..and why am i suddenly addicted to sublime??? again, weird. i added a new album (in multiply) dedicated (anak ng....dedicated?? haha) to 3 of my oldest friends: phil, nikka and alex...oldest as in pinakamatagal ok?? not oldest as in..pinakamatanda..IM the eldest among us 4..but you didnt need to know that haha..wait ako nga ba? haha!! im just confusing myself :P tsk.. theres this certain senti song and i find it totally pathetic.. it goes like this: 'sorry didnt mean to call you but i couldnt fight it, i guess im just weak...so i surrender just to hear your voice.. i just have to see you, its just all that im askin...' i know its sorta mali mali but it kind of like that..the melody's nice though..the song just reminded me of how weak, desperate and pathetic i was before because....doot doot doot...hahah :D ok ok enough na florence...breeeeaaathe..(im weird) i dont want to go to tagaytay anymore!!! its too boring there!! i cant bowl, i cant get a tan, i cant swim i cant do anything there but fight with my parents at the dinner table..hmph.. its raining kasi and laging full ung bowling alley and billiard and etc...oh yeah i attended soccer awhile ago..the coach transfered me to a diff team bec i was too uh.. mareklamo.. but it was all good.. atleast i met some new people there.. sarah(mc) sabel(poveda) hmm.... i cant believe it!! carrie won????? BO'S WAAAY BETTER!!!

for my husband crisitano: i would gladly cook your favorite dish and i forgot the name basta its some cod fish ekek... :D im such a weirdo

2005-05-23T01:24:00.000-07:00

for phil, alex, venica and anna
sorry, i really cant go later to that rooster concert...aaaggghh!! i wanna watch!! :( well, have fun later and lets just go out next time...ack, lapit na pasokk!! :(

2005-05-22T03:25:00.000-07:00

ok so i didnt blog for a few days..here's what happend......
(may 19)
i watched starwars with my sister (shangrila) that movie made me depressed..i wont see haydens adorable face anymore... :(
(may 20)
i went out with my friends.. happy monthsary to my sister and her darling darling boyfriend robert (hahah!!)
(may 21-22)
went to tagaytay with my family..twas a bit boring and sad because of the weather..grrr

check out my mulitply for picz :)

2005-05-18T05:30:00.000-07:00

just got home. went jogging awhile ago with sister tricia(parang nun) and sister tricias friend jen.. we also went to laguna before that (ayala westgrove) ack im already maiitim and my sunburn hurts but ill live.. i didnt get to swim!!!!!! because because... girls you know why *wink ill update my multiply soon so guys, drop a comment/tag!

2005-05-18T05:22:00.000-07:00

2005-05-17T01:33:00.000-07:00

If there was nothing that i could say turned your back and you just walked away leaves me numb inside i think of you together is all i ever knew We moved too fast but i had no sign i would try to turn the hands of time i looked to you for a reason why the love we had passed me by And as the sun would set you would rise fall from the sky into paradise is there no light in your heart for me you´ve closed your eyes you don´t longer see There were no lies between me and you you said nothing of what you knew but there was still something in your eyes left me helpless and paralysed You could give a million reasons change the world and change the tides could not give me the secrets of your heart and of your mind in the darkness that surrounds me now there is no peace of mind your careless words undo me leave the thought of us behind.........

no ordinary morning-ministry of sound

2005-05-17T01:15:00.000-07:00

hmm..i forgot to blog yesterday because of my uh...'cramps'.. so we just had work and the day before, (sunday) we went to rockwell then edsa shang hotel for dinner.. happy birthday to my grandma she's alrady 70..check out my mulitply there---> sa right side..aaaah we have camp tomorrow...ill blog again soon :P

2005-05-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

oh no.. im becoming a couch potato (again). im too tamad already!! tamad to do anything!! even the things that i enjoy doing..i didnt attend soccer awhile ago because i was too tamad.. im too tamad to go the parlor for my manicure(aahhh!!! there's really sumthn wrong with me!!!) and yesterday, we went to shangrila (i was too tamad to shop!!!!!!! WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!) and and and.. yesterday, i skipped work because i was too (fill in the blanks) _ _ _ _ _.. the word starts with a T and it ends with a D. hehe. ok ok.. i NEED to do sumthng!!! ok ok..im gonna swim later and then im gonna jog.. whew..

2005-05-12T01:47:00.000-07:00

theyre not gonna go to switzerland anymore!!!! ------->bad news!!! ill live though.. i joined soccer awhile ago but im too tamad to continue.. i should have this line trademarked--->i think im gonna faint<----the coach cant get enough of this line.. so my friends were here yesterday..just chck out my multiply site (its there on the right side) if you wanna see some pics..
plans: (not including gimmicks/emergency trips to the salon/football/work/etc)
bonding time with my sister (hehe--->SHOPPING AND SALON!!YAY!!)
tagaytay(not yet sure)
punta fuego(my parents are too tamad but theyre thinkin abt it yay!)
summer camp with the club
sleepover?

etc. :)

2005-05-09T23:08:00.000-07:00

im too friggin bored so im just gonna make a shopping list (yeah, im THAT bored)
1)new havaianas
2)bikini (brown or olive green)
3)all the nice stuff that i see (haha)

ok, so not only am i bored, im also feeling tamad right now.. obviously, look at my shopping list.. ym's starting to annoy me.. (actually the people there) i hate those people who keeps on sending grp msgs...(pa add poh sa friendster, thank you poh..) arrrghh!!!! ANNOYING ANNOYING!!! kitchie nadal sounds horrible (i saw her concert thing in araneta sa tv..rico blanco----> HOTTT) she sounds ok in her videos but live? i mean, cmon, gimme a vomit bag!! hehe.. but she's really pretty :) (no offense dun sa mga kitchie fans ok? :P peace!) i might attend soccer after all.. MIGHT...im just too tamad :( aaaack... last month was just so hectic..so i guess i need a break.. i watched legally blonde yesterday.. elle was so sure that warner's the one so she worked really hard to make warner realize that she's good enough for him and eventually, take her back but in the end, she found someone who's better and she ended up dumping warner when he finally realized that elle was and still is a great person. very inspirational. :D he's such an ass.. he thinks he's better than everyone..im talkin about warner ;)

its too hot :(

2005-05-08T23:07:00.000-07:00

when you left i lost a part of me...

please excuse my choice of words ^above^ i just finished watching tv and i saw mariah (her video 'we belong together') awww..sad isnt it? (grrr!!!!!) yay!! my best niggas are comin over on wed and we're gonna swim here at my place.. hehe gizoogle's still stuck in my head, thats where i got the uh... ghetto(?) language.

good news (+)
-my friends are comin over on wed (as mentioned above) i miss them already
-my parents are goin to geneva (switzerland) next week....
YAY YAY YAY YAY YIPEEEE!!! YAY!!!!!!!!
its not that i dont want them around, i just miss the feelng of absolute freedom and the last time i felt that was last year..september..*sniff* memories memories...ok enough,
-last but not least, we're gonna go to the beach 2 weeks from now and im gonna bring some friends with me

oh yeah i watched kingdom of heaven last week tangina (sorry) IT SUCKED!!!!!

2005-05-06T19:06:00.000-07:00

its a saturday and i have NO plans of going out today.. i just want to stay home and relieve my lazy ass..im TOO tamad to go out.. ahhh somebody drag my butt out of this house!! robert and a.pam invited me to this event later but uhh..no thanks.. soccer (scond module) starts today but uhh...no thanks..hehe.. i just want to go to a peaceful place..maybe shangrila with my other sister and eat my heart out sa cibo. (yum, but im trying to forget about the hair incident) and maybe go to the spa there.. but but but..im too TAMAD...ahh!!!! maybe ill go out later when i get bored..wait, i already am bored but im also tamad too... hehe..im such a weirdo.. my mom and i are in good terms right now (hahahh!!) and i raided her unwanted makeup drawer.. (im a makeup junkie hehe) i found a ton of stuff that she didnt want mostly clinique skincare stuff, pastel makeup shades (she doesnt like pastel), mascara...and this reeeeaaally nice lotion that she doesnt use anymore (l'occitane) i have their scrub and its THE BEST. hehe.. its so hot here.. grr..the heat is making me crazy!! i watched kingdom of heaven 2 days ago..it sucked.. ill blog again later..bye!!

2005-05-04T18:53:00.000-07:00

im going crazy here.. im gonna avoid watchn mtv/myx/any music channels etc because og the stupid songs that they play... makes me reminisce about the shitty crap that i used to have, that i used to love damnit why cant i juts move on he's not all that and he's not the first one but what the heck sumthn must be wrong with me people get on with their lives but why cant i just fuckin do that?????? weeellll........ i dont know :) damnit im so pissed off right now (because) icant update my ipod right now/add songs (because) we cant download anymore (because) of the friggin virus that's why we had to delete those downloading thingies because becuase because because....blah blah..

sorry..i just woke up.. ill finish this after 5 mins, i have to REALLY wake up first..........

(after around 20 mins...)
ok im such a weirdo.. look at what i wrote up there^ aaaahhh... i have a lot of things to doooo... i have to write an essay about myself and i have to finish this 'color your feelings project thing' for my special friend and after that im gonna go out with my friends...eastwood/power..

2005-05-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

i watched a walk to remember (hbo) awhile ago.. it still is one of the best movies ever for meee.. i know..im a hopeless romantic.. the movie made me reminisce about (for my friends: you know already) him..bcause it was the same movie i watched when we got home from eastwood after watchin GARFIELD..hehe..ack IM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC.. but i stepped out of the romance phase (heheh what????) months ago.. aww.. but whatever.. bahala na si (batman hahah weh just kiddin) GOD. so here i am in front of the computer feelin all senti and romantic :)

Ever since the day you went away
And left me lonely and cold
My life just hasn't been the same
When I looked into your eyes
The moment that I let you go I just broke down
Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
'Cause the feelin that I feel within no other man
Would ever make me feel so right
It's nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
But I'd rather have you here with me
Right next to me
And I miss the way you hold me tight
I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything
That's right baby
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you
That's right baby
Im goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you
Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you it's been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak
Can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me
And you want me
And you miss me
And you love me
I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you
Put it down be the woman for you
I'm falling so deep for you
Crazy over you I'm calling
Callin' out to you
What am I gonna do?
It's true no frontin'
It's you ain't no other
I can no longer go on without you
I'll just break down (down)
I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything
That's right baby
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you
That's right baby
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you
(goin crazy-natalie)

oh god. im such a bad kid. (im now opposing to my previous entry) i always fight with my mom. tss.. im gonna move out of the house as soon as i graduate hs. (venica patira naman diyan sa bahay niyo o :P) we had our soccerfestival yesterday yeah, WE LOST. heheh.. i might enroll sa makati nxt year but i dont know am i THAT dedicated? maybe not. i might not be able to attend the second module :( i have summer camp. and after that my family and i are gonna go to tagaytay and maybe after that punta fuego.. ahhhh!!!! im darrrrrk!!! i feel like a ghetto nigger (no offense!!!!) im just not used to it yet. im too tamad to go to the salon later grrrr... but i want to have my hair treated/trimmed or manicure? my nails are not long enough (grrr.) i feel so kulang..like i lack something. maybe i do know what im lacking. or who? hehe..damnit.

You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing in sight
Why am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die
(runnin-2pac)

2005-04-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

im such a good girl (heheh..) i got home early from ew para goodshot sa parents :) ive been doin that for the past few months and i get to extend my curfew without their knowledge (labo..its like im cheatin my parents) wooohp.. nothin much happend today i just had soccer training for our festival tomorrow and after that venica and i went to starbucks to satisfy our craving (hehe) tapos we walked home and we found a nice round santol and i spent the next hour obsessin over that silly piece of fruit which eventually became our uh.. 'soccer' ball and needless to say it got crushed. boohoo :( when i got home, i just rested and after that my sisters and went to ew at around... 7 sumthn to hang out with sina mike, robert, jb and al... we just drank and ate sa ipanema.. my sister and i got bored so we dragged jb and mike to the arcade hehe.. (pang highschool!!!!) and i tripped down the stairs of ipanema (hehe.. im a klutz!!) trish and i went home early and we left pam there sa ew. maybe theyre bored to death there by now.. hahah.. :) IM bored to death here i WANNA SH0PPPP

2005-04-29T02:41:00.000-07:00

i still cant find a nice layout in blogskins.. (shelly!! halp! btw i miss you na!! lets eat chicken nuggets again :P) im just gonna stay home today and ill just go out tomorrow.

why cant i unchain myself from you? can you tell me how to do it? because you easily unchained yourself from me.

im tired of mending this broken heart
tired of watching you slowly drift away
im tired of my shattered emotions
my innermost feelings, cant you see?
im tired of trying to change myself for you
denying what i feel is true
finally, im tired of falling
tired, day by day
so now i realize
i should pick myself up and change my ways
im tired of being tired just for your sake
now from this nightmare.................

........i can wake up

tshhh... i wanna bowl.. :( i miss bowling!!

2005-04-24T03:41:00.000-07:00

nothing much happend today. we just had the usual sunday routine: mass, lunch out, mall. we did the same thing yesterday minus the church thing. i didnt shop that much, i just bought a few items. ill shop with my sis on tues :) i didnt go to soccer awhile ago...hmm..i need a 'rest' day. atleast one rest day for each week. this is pretty weird..i used to be a couch potato and i used to eat all the nastiest food thats choc full of cholesterol last school year and i didnt gain a single fuckin pound..i started living a healthfull lifestyle early this summer (i eat salad instead of rice, i dont eat junk food anymore, i wake up early EVERYDAY for work/soccer, i swim almost everyday, i go out more often and my shopping trips are multiplying etc..) and guess what? I GAINED WEIGHT!!!!! wow. i cant even squeeze into my size 25 jeans anymore :( GRRRR... we're gonna have a garage sale and we're gonna sell the stuffies for cheap prices. we're gonna sell those original guess stuff that we never used (they still have tags) and the dresses (hehe :P) that my dad bought abroad that we never wore (i think they still have tags too) and those tiangge stuff that we never used... basta if youre interested/if your maids(hehe) are, just give me a call/ you can text me :)

2005-04-21T05:10:00.000-07:00

its never too late to change...

today's thurs..so i had soccer awhile ago.. i tripped and then mianca (special mention!) kicked the ball and guess what? she kicked it towards my face hahah!! nah im not blaming her, it was actually quite funny. cant wait to play soccer again!(saturday!) so i got home and waited for my mom to come home (so i can ask permission to go to chskies place) and i fell asleep!! sorry cheskie :P phil, venica and i are planning to go to power next week. SHOPPING YAY! me and tricia are also plannin to go to shangrila for our daily shopping trip next week YAY YAY!! she went to shang awhile ago and this fag from ricky reyes approached her and asked her to model for them. SIS, AKO NALANG!!!! he he wish ko lang :P sana sana please :D he he he.. robert (my other sisters' boyfriend) went here awhile ago..tsk dude i miss your car! he he he.. and fluffy (my pomeranian) escaped from his 'place' and i had to carry him back and his dick(sorry for bein so obscene) was so messy and it had weewee and dirt and guess what, it stained my shirt. GRRRR..bad fluffy!! another walang kwentang entry! :D

i can live without you but im not saying that i dont want you...

2005-04-20T02:36:00.000-07:00

a change of heart....

i recieved my report card awhile ago..i didnt flunk/fail any subject but according to my parents, it still needs MORE effort. they know that im not good at some subjects (particularly fil and social, they use SUPER deep filipino words..waaay too deep for my brain he..he.. LABO!) as punishment, they didnt allow me to go to the moony event (sorry phil, venica, alex) but i have learned (from th uh..'special help') that anger is not the proper way to deal with these things.. instead of changing them, i should change myself.. i should be more understanding and in time, they too will inderstand me..pero.. grr.. i was looking forward to this moony thing..grr.. but theyre not gonna take away my uhh..'new' curfew (new but still a bit early) which is good i guess. i showed my dad our filipino and social studies book and he just laughed and agreed with me that the words are waaay to complex. my mom read the book, laughed and said 'i cant understand a single word here.' tsk. so theyre gonna hire a tutor for me so i can improve on filipino and social studies. sana english nalang yung social, hmph. ack i have soccer tomorrow and i still dont have the uniform/shirt. hmm..

pls stop treating other people like dirt because youre dirt too.

2005-04-17T01:48:00.000-07:00

just got home from shangrila. tricia, pam and i just helped our little sis (shopping) i bought some stuff too (he he he) okay. i need 'special help' daw so im gonna get my 'special help' next week. ayyy.

2005-04-16T04:43:00.000-07:00

thats it. ive had enough of this shit. i hate my motherfuckin parents. i hate my life. i want to kill them so badly but here's a better option, WHY NOT KILL MYSELF? huh?? so they wont have to worry about their friggin psychotic and mentally disordered daughter. they dont even know me. its a shame isnt it? THEY DONT EVEN KNOW ME. i want my own life. im not a pet. im not something that should be kept in a cage to be 'ooohed' and 'ahhed' by my stupid folks. im a human being and i BADLY WANT TO KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW. or better yet, run away? yeah thats better.

im dead serious.

2005-04-16T03:22:00.000-07:00

ack, im blind! literally.. i dont wanna wear glasses!! yay im gonna shop tomorrow.. (shopping--->one of the BEST but SHORT-LIVED remedies)

2005-04-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

im sick.. im 100% sure that there's something wrong with me.. i solve problems usin the wrong answers (not math), i dont listen to other people anymore..its like.. when they ask me questions i just reply "i dont know".. "ewan".. "i dont know what that is".. "i dont care" even if i know what 'it' is or even if i do care.. its like.. i cracked or sumthn.. pfff... im just hiding behind my 'crazy girl attitude' facade.. what am i hiding inside? no one knows. NO ONE.

again:
MOONY! live in manila
date: April 23, 2005
time: 9:00 pm
venue: club halo and premiere cinema THX milelong Amorsolo st. Makati

watch with me.

2005-04-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

my parents are so damn strict and unfair.. my mom allowed me to go out today and my dad didnt. my dad even got mad at me.. then my mom got mad at me.. stupid idiots. you cant get mad at me because you allowed me!!!! tangina yung mga inutil na yun sana mag out of town ulit sila.. pls lang lord sana lang.. hahah.. i cant think straight anymore.. FUCK THOSE TWO PIECES OF STINKIN SHIT

2005-04-15T03:15:00.000-07:00

Its early in the morning
And my heart is *STILL really moaning
Just thinkin bout you baby
Got me twisted into things
And I *STILL dont know how to take it
But its *STILL driving me so crazy
I dont know if its right
I'm *STILL tossin turning in my bed
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And I still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it *STILL makes me
Weak...I'm *STILL feeling hopeless at home
I dont know what to do but I think I'm *STILL in love
Baby...........

its been 5 months but STILL... :(

2005-04-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

i've been so preoccupied this summer!! my FUUUULLL schedule (which consists of soccer, work and gimmicks/downtime with my friends..etc..) is NOT making me tired! it makes me even more hyperactive--->much to my mom and dad's dismay (he heh heh) so.. i didnt blog yesterday..i just went out with my friends (yestereday) after soccer, we played billiards and bowling and ofcourse WE ATE...a LOT..we? or was it just me..? and phil? hahah!! just kiddn! i had work awhile ago..it was ok..hahah..the kids had a sorta...free day..(lucky kids, every friday for them is free day) im still deciding:
a)should i go out later? (eastwood)
b)or should i just swim/exercise?

grrr...whatever..i might just work out later... but i wanna go to eastwood too :( maybe tomorrow/next week..

i have to:
1)get a tan
2)live a healthier lifestyle---->eat healthful food and exercise etc.. (DONE!)
3)shop, ofcourse!
4)visit the salon for my daily french mani/pedi, trim etc.
5)gain weight and enlargen my small physique (enlargen as in the muscular kind, ayoko maging ,mataba!)---->im also sort of...lampa(?)
6)resurrect my old hobby (baking/cooking) well it depends if i have time

i wanna watch the moony thing :(

2005-04-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

just got home from the soccer thing (ateneo) someone told me bAD vibes daw dun nyaahah!! well ung coach medyo... hahha!! but the people there are nice.. i missed a lot because i didnt attend last sunday...so needless to say the coach sorta got mad at me... hahha!! sorry po SIR. tangina im sooo tired! i need to exercise more coz i get tired easily.. i might go out with my friends later... tsk i have work pa tomorrow..yikes! ill blog again lateah!!

ciao

2005-04-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

oooh... i blogged 3 times today! (translation: i had/have nothing else to do)

"although it may flare up instantly, love dies with excruciating slowness. you may decide at this very moment that you are no longer in love, and your brain might understand perfectly, but the rest of you will take time to grasp this radical concept. the heart and the stomach are particularly slow to learn. and so you may be sure that the affair is over, and still feel a stabbing pain in the area of your heart when someone mentions his name. you may have exorcised him from your life, and still feel a punch in the gut when you meet him accidentally."

true.

2005-04-10T03:13:00.000-07:00

MOONY! live in manila
date: April 23, 2005
time: 9:00 pm
venue: club halo and premiere cinema THX milelong Amorsolo st. Makati

I VANNA VATCH!! :)

tickets cost 500 pesos daw :)

VATCH VIT MWEE!!

2005-04-10T02:21:00.000-07:00

summer...ooooh-la-la!!

ive got a lot on my mind right now (which is a good thing, hahah) like:
1)my busy schedule
mon-i have work
tues-soccer
wed-work
thurs-soccer
friday-work
saturday-soccer
sunday-soccer
*whew*
2)my report card (yikes!)
3)my shopping list (he he he)
4)im plannin to go out with my friends (no, not gimmicks/malling/inumans/shopping and the like) maybe punta fuego/tagaytay?
5)my mom.. she thinks there's something wrong with me.. i think so too.. she used to force me to go to a psychiatrist (spell check??) and i declined a ZILLION times coz during that time, i couldnt accept the fact that i was going down(still am!)...and in a way, i was malfunctioning(?)(still am!). NOW i want to visit the psychiatrist.. he..he..he :D

so far this summer has been ok...SO FAR (ha ha ha :P) we went to tagaytay, province(pangasinan) and baguio. my parents are plannin to go to hongkong with my little sisters, which is good(FREEDOM!!!). and we're planning to go to punta fuego on may.(i hope this one will push through).
we're not gonna go to bora :( my dad is WAAAAAAY to busy and my mom doesnt want to because of the uhh...the people who go there.. the people who strip on the beach..(ha ha ha)...

oh yeah..cessa..I CHICKENED OUT SORRY :( maybe some other time..

ill blog again soon!:P

2005-04-03T23:23:00.000-07:00

this is a nice song.. i changed it a bit though

Sometimes i sit at home and wonder how it be if he *still loves me,
i learnedAwhile ago that kind of thing it never happens for me, and
so i go around and just pretend loveIs not for me i play the circus clown around my friends make them laugh and they wont see thatU never let them see u sweat dont want them to think the pain runs deep, Lord knows its killing me So i put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok imLaughing cuz no one knows the joke is on me cuz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on myFace...Sometimes i sit at home by the phone hopin he might call me but he dont call me but then i Realize dreams come true arent for girls like me not like me, and so i go around with my headUp like it aint no thing and when the boys around with all my friends im into other things cuzU never let them see u sweat dont want them to think the pain runs deep, lord knows its killingMe Its not easy sometimes its hard to face the truth its not the life that iWould choose but what else can i do if he dont love me no if he dont want me im not about to Sit around let myself go

2005-04-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

lonely..im mr. lonely..
on my own....................................

some vinegar to make the wounds hurt some more....
my sister and i were eating in this resto in the province and as usual i yakked on and on about him.. then she told me... "a week after you guys broke up, he told me na ang saya na wala na siyang girlfriend"...ouch huh? but not that much i guess.. because of time.. its been 5 months.. no, time didnt heal these wounds.. time made me numb.. i cant feel anymore..as of now.. no one can get me out of this misery tornado..(what??) unless its HIM. ok, ok.. why am i allowing myself to feel this way? its because i gave up.. no more facades of 'idont cares'..no more denying.. im sick of being in denial. i actually feel better now..now that i've stopped running away from my feelings.

i went to the bathroom awhile ago because i had to check my clothes to see if our klepto maid didnt get anything.. and i also had to unpack and remove all the clutter on my btahroom counter.. while cleaning, i saw it.. the heart shaped box.. the last time i opened that box was around 3 months ago.. i took the box and placed it on my bed.. "should i open it..?" i spent 15 minutes pondering on that question.. i eventually opened the box and HIS scent greeted me after i took off the lid.. i picked up the bottle and i took a BIIIIIIG whif of his perfume..

"akala ko di ka na pupunta.."
"oops sorry!! my phone's sira pa rin eh"
"ok lang..you wanna walk around?"
"...sure"

MC.. JULY 30, 2004..FRIDAY..4:00
the first time we met up.. :( he reeked of that perfume

i stared at all the other stuff.. the stuffed dog.. sthe garfield tickets.. the necklace....
each one has its own story.. i know that ill cry again if i recalled those times when we were still happy.. i stared at the contents again..

then i placed the lid on top the box.
im only hurting myself some more.

2005-03-29T00:03:00.000-08:00

i had a great time with him last night.. he was holding my hand.. and i was sitting on his lap.. he told me that he missed me so much.. we were in that exact same place where we used to hang out and talk.. it was so cold that night.. and he just wrapped his arms around me.. and told me "i'll never ever let you go.." i've waited so long for this day to come.. i missed him so much and it made me happy that he was with me last night.. we just talked.. the like we used to..i tickled him like i used to..he laid me on his lap and played with my hair like he used to... then he looked at me and said..."why did you leave me?" i just stared at the floor..i couldnt take it anymore.. i just cried.. and he just hugged me..then i heard a faint whisper.."i love you..."

and then i woke up.

2005-03-27T18:44:00.000-08:00

hahah im CONFUUUUSED.. parang ayoko na eh! hahah!! damnit its so friggin hot here!! im gonna go out later with my.. BEST NIGas.. hahah!! got that from gizoogle

2005-03-27T06:36:00.000-08:00

this is for *you.. i hope you know who you are :D pomelo..remember that?

taken from tinay's blog.. beautiful isnt it? it made me cry
The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop to loving, it only means that you allow that person find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger thats kept in your heart. Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart ruin your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

dear *someone,

i guess i want to set myself free..from all the bitterness, anger...everything.. its pretty hard to let go because there's this something that i've been wanting tell you for a very long time already.. i miss you and.. im still not over you. im not asking for you back or anything i just want you to know how i feel. THIS is what i have been feeling for a very long time now. But i want YOU to be happy.. i want you to go where your heart takes you. i can always love you from afar... and never forget that im just here for you. i can accept the fact that im not a part of your life anymore but it just hurts me that i cant tell you the way i feel.. and not being able to tell you how i feel raises up all the hurt, bitterness and anger.. i dont want to feel that way anymore.. i want to free myself from all those bullcrap.. i dont want to be in denial anymore.. and i dont want to think ill of other people.. maybe you came to my life for a reason.. as of now, the reason is unknown.. but nevertheless, i want to thank you.. FOR REAL, THIS TIME.. maybe after this i can go on with my life peacefully. maybe you can give me a sign..or whatever...that you know.. so i can finally free myself from all this..

"with a broken soul and humbled heart, i accept not defeat but FREEDOM..."

2005-03-27T02:32:00.000-08:00

im trying to get a job..

in my dad's office:
"dadddeeee can i work in your office please? ill do anything, scrub the toilets, mop the floors, wear the uniform of a janitress? pleeeeaase?"
REJECTED(my dad's response: NO)

mont blanc(powerplant)
my dad: miss can she work here?
mont blanc person: hi sir! kamusta na po kayo? sige po! (with a hint of sarcasm and an explosion of laughter)
me: sige na, ill wipe the glass counters and clean the display window?
dad and and m.b. person: LAUGHTER*
REJECTED(ill take the laughter as a no)

my dad is trying to get me a job in figaro...weh.. i will not expect anything..

they have slot daw in NAIL TROPICS and they already asked me to bring my biodata..hmm..i hope ill get a job there..

WHY do i want a job?
i dont want to spend the money of my parents.. i want my OWN money.. i admit, inaabuso ko na ung pagshshopping ko and paghhingi ko ng money sa parents ko..yikes.. i dont want to be a spoiled brat.. but i tend to be one sometimes..tsk.. i want to change that.. i want to earn my own money and prove to everyone that im capable of working and that im not a spoiled brat anymore..

*lord please i hope they hire me in nail tropics

no need to tell you guys that im desperate!

i think i hate YOU..

2005-03-26T01:14:00.000-08:00

dont mind that nalang ^ its a part of this song.. its kinda stuck to my head..

just got home from tagaytay.. went there for holy week.. it was okay.. inuman with ate pam, trish, mike and robert.. played billiards with my dad.. correction: my dad showed off while i whined my head off..hahah!! i didnt go to the gym anymore.. i need to gain weight kasi eh.. i might go out with my friends on monday.. i miss you guys soooo much!!

dear *someone,

this 'im already over you' bullcrap is getting me nowhere.. might as well say the truth right? IM NOT YET OVER YOU... but wait.. there's more.. NO ONE CAN EVER COMPARE TO YOU.. yet.. based from my..uh.. observation and the things i went through.. they say love is sweeter the second time around but are YOU willing to try? it looks as if youre not.. it looks as if you've moved on.. i thought i did too.. you dont even talk to me anymore.. i have chosen not to fall in love again with another person because i cant settle for less.. it has to be you.. how can i love another person when YOURE the one im always thinking about? how can i move on with someone new when i keep comparing them to YOU? i know that im a nobody to you now.. a nobody in your life.. you dont talk to me anymore.. i HAVent moved on.. im just used to living with the pain.. im numb.. youre the only person who can make me feel again.. as of now.. im NUMB.. im still waiting..but im not gonna wait for you forever.. time may change the way i think about you but as of now.. THIS is how i feel..just hear me out..

maybe someone can help me change the way i feel.. maybe..

dont get me wrong, im not depressed or anything.. im just digging these out from the pits of my mind..

shelly, den, kate, les, panjee: i miss you guys.. you guys are the only ones who can make me feel better

okay back to my normal selllfff
>kate!! kiss kita sa.. ano nga ulit ung barok ng cheeks? hahah!! its supposed to be cheek dbA?

whew

2005-03-22T02:29:00.000-08:00

just got home from th retreat [laguna] i didnt see my old friends there but i met new ones.. if ever man you see words na kulang sa E's here [in this entry] dont mind it nalang coz sira ung E sa keyboard ko right now..i have to pound on it pa to make it work.. hmm.. about the 'pretty ex' thing.. umm.. i hope i didnt offend anyone because compliment yun.. for him..because he's really darn cute..ahahah!! i want to shar this story [kwinwnto ng priest during the retreat]

there was this girl.. she's pretty, sort of high-class and i dont know basta yun th average girl. she went to this party. while dancing, she slipped and fell HARD.. she died.. then th people gathered around her and they tried to revive her. NO LUCK. then they all started to pray. the girl suddenly opened her eyes and said.. "you dont need to pray for me im already in hell.." then closed her eyes.

YIKESSSS!!!!!!

shopshopshopshop!!!!

2005-03-19T23:50:00.000-08:00

yay!! laguna tomorrow then tagaytay.. im gonna play badminton with my sisters again! yippeee :D and visit the spa.. ok my sister and i are gonna shop.. ONLY THE TWO OF US.. so no distractions.. do you get what i mean? no. hahah.. im chattin with phil, anna and shelly..aww.. i miss you guys.. later!

..:D..

2005-03-19T18:29:00.000-08:00

for shelly: oy you keep quiet!!

oh yeahhh summer!!

2005-03-19T18:12:00.000-08:00

oh yeah!! it summer!! yippeee... my parents are gonna go to vietnam next month!! yay!! greeeaaatt... as of now.. theyre here..so BORING..haha.. oh yeah check out all the action dun sa tagboard..props to anonymous..ü my brain is bigger than my nail/s LITERALLY.. and yes i want a shirt that looks like lacy underwear..theyre nicee.. im flirt? why did i flirt with YOU? :D and i dont have lice im just paranoid.. and i DIDNT have lice before too..so there.. im just clearing things up for YOU. i smell funny? you got THAT close? cool.

my dad and i are sorta havin a disagreement right now..about the soccer thing.. oh well my mom allowed me to go there na so...?

i dont know.

bye :D

..you see the way i have been drifting down the river to nowhere..

2005-03-18T22:35:00.000-08:00

should i shatter my heart AGAIN?

confusion.

2005-03-18T19:15:00.000-08:00

SEPERATED-USHER
If love was a bird then we wouldn't have our wings
If love was the sky we'd be blue
If love was a choir, U and I could never sing
'cause love isn't for me and U
If love was an Oscar, U and I could never win
'cause we could never act out our parts
If love is the bible, then we are lost in sin
Because it's not in our hearts
So why don't you go your way,and I'll go mine
Live ur lifeAnd I'll live mineBaby, u'll do well
And I'll be fine'cause we're better off separated...
If love was a fire then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so coldIf love was a light then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold
If love was a sport,
we're not on the same team
U and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean, baby, we are just a stream
'cause love isn't for me and U
Girl, I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl U know I love U
I can't denyCan't say we didn't try to make it work for U and I
I know it hurts so much
But it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road, we lost the trust
So I walk away, so U don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't U go
I'm sorry we didn't make it.

that song made me laugh the first time i listened to it.. laughter.. my BEST facade to hide away all this bullshit im feeling..i AM having second thoughts abt *him*.. why cant i feel that same strong spark i felt before with..my pretty ex..hahah!!! nice nickname..dont get me wrong i AM over him its just that i miss that strong bond we had.. i feel as if im never gonna feel that feeling again (WHAT?? WEIRD!!) but you get what i mean right? no. hahah.. my parents are on their way here from taiwan..my sister and i (along with our friends) are gonna go to laguna on monday.. after that, me and my family are gonna go to tagaytay..whooopie :D thinkin abt it sorta makes me feel better.. SUMMER AT LAST!! cant wait to go to the beach!! i finally got my long delayed frenchtips yesterday with venica and alex (nail tropics) after that, we went to XANTHOPHYLL (tama ba spelling?) and we watched gorgeous garbage play (you guys rock!) awww.. im gonna miss my friends.. :( i had a nice time.. i saw my pretty ex..hahah!! :D i crush him :D just kidding!! im not a lesbo eeeew.. we were supposed to go to eastwood at arnd 9 but it didnt push through coz my friends and i were havin fun :D

kate:hoy ikaw :P
shelly, emmet, giO: i had fun with you guys! thankss :D
den:im gonna mishu tissue
lesh and panjee: SHOP SHOP SHOP!!!

byebye guys...love you all :D

love...damn it..

now im a coconut? cool :D

2005-03-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

yayy!! last day of exams tomorrow!! woopdeedooooo...:D tomorrow's our batch night... yipee!! i might go to eastwood after the batch night though..(or during) whatever! go GORGEOUS GARBAGE! :D hahah.. tsk.. im too tamad to study for social!! ill just study later.. i miss.. grape.. sorry if its weird but coconut is..WEIRDER..hahah... does that word exist? :D

byebye.

aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

2005-03-13T01:34:00.000-08:00

i drove robert's car awhile ago!!!! aahhh!!!! WE ALMOST DIED!! (robert is the boyfriend of my older sister, btw) okay im exaggerating.. pero muntik na namin ma-hit ung isang gate...and i kept screaming.."we're gonna die, we're gonna die!!" hahah.. tsk.. yay!!!! i LOVE my parents so much!! because theyre going to taiwan on thurs!! no rules, no curfew!! I LOVE THEM :D hahah... well... have to be home by 12 coz magbabantay ung granny ko so...un... hahah..hi kate..you finally found my tagboard...hahah :D anak ng tupa...WOAH...that is pretty malutong! hahah.. i love chicco (my chihuahua) soooo much pero he doesnt appreciate the things i do for him.. i gave him a purple scarf and he almost bit me nung tinatali ko sa neck niya.. i powdered him awhile ago and i spritzed cologne on his paws..guess what happend.. ran away from me and he hid under my bed.. poor me... taken for granted by a DOG. pshhh... im still un-frenchtipped.. hahah..weird..after exams nalang.. laging nadedelay!! grr :( yayyy!!! cant wait to go to the BEACH!!!! cant wait to go jetskiing, swimming, shopping and the list goes on.... yeah and i cant wait to get a tan!! whoopdeedoo...hahah... hey katorseh minus 4, i miss you guysss!! :D mwah..
and i miss rambutan/banana/strawberry/siopao/lychee whatever..hahah :P

bbye.

i HATE wake-up calls

2005-03-10T05:24:00.000-08:00

hmm.. i HATE waking up early, it sucks.. i once had this dream that my dad bought me a car.. and i was like 'woohoo!! im gonna drive!!' i started th engine and then guess what happend.. "PHIPAAAA!!!!!!!!! WAKE UPPPPP!!!!!!!!" thanks a lot ate tricia... :D ookkayy so another boring school day... fell asleep AGAIN.. during science.. and social studies... and C.L.E... aww.. den..kate.. stop bitchfitting(?) you guys are the best and WE ALL KNOW IT :D panjee... BABYDANCE!!!! :D shellskie: PENGE! hahah.. lesh: ow ow ow...put! put! hahah... i miss my friends already... and i miss tim.. (tsk, diretsuhan na :P) i miss tim... i saw him awhile ago.. so..tim...if you're reading this..i just wanna say thank you for making my day.. i miss you already and i cant wait to see you again.. lets gain weight together ok? :D

byebye.

i am weird.

2005-03-06T07:04:00.000-08:00

we had practice yesterday for our play. im in charge of the props.. panjee left her casio here.. so i have to lug it to school tomorrow.. this sucks.. i hate carrying heavy things.. my pe uniform is lost.. gone.. buzzap.. grr.. ill look for it tomorrow

i didnt get my french tips yesterday because of the practice.. but its worth it..
to my groupmates: "i will never ever ditch you guys for a mani-pedi because you guys are worth more than anything...awww :D"

we went to shangrila awhile ago... i bought new shoes..strappy high heeled sanadals.. i saw this nice shirt but my mom refused to buy it for me because "it looks like this lacy underwaer".. nyeh.. eh di wag..

cant wait for summer.. so i can go out with my friends.. i cant wait for the extinction of my 7:00 curfew.. stupid Cs.... youre the reason why i got an early curfew!!! so DIE!!!! :D hahah..

what reward can i get from my dad? he'll give me one daw if i get high grades for the fourth quarter.. i've always wanted this nice tiffany necklace.. pero according to my dad, i dont deserve it.. its too expensive and my grades for the 1st, 1nd and 3rd quarter suck.. next year nlang daw IF mataas grades ko sa lahat.. maybe ill get a chariol? thats cheaper than tiffany i guess pero its a bit too common..lahat ng tao may ganun na eh :( hmm... a watch would be nice.. YEAH.. thats what ill ask for.. a nice WATCH.. :D "sandali lang florence, wag ka muna mangarap, pano kung hindi mataas grades mo for the fourth quarter? mae-extinct nga ung 7pm curfew mo, mapapalitan naman ng 6pm...wala ka ding watch and mawawala shopping mo" (oh yeah btw, that was my concience... not me) labo!!!

lahat ng gamit ko nawawalaaaa!!!
1)rubbershoes
2)pe uniform
3)black shirt and red skirt
(i have to look for those in school tmorrow)
4)my favorite lippie :(
5)my 70 pesos.. (hhahah 70 pesos parin yun noh!!)
6)my white tank top (panjee, look for it!!!!!!!!!!!!)
7)my favorite peach-colored racerback
>im gonna go through my sisters cabinet... i might find some of my missing items there.. I HOPE..

i miss him :D maybe ill see him tomorrow? i hope so... :D

oh golly :)

2005-02-20T02:04:00.000-08:00

aaaack... im in like!(what??) not love...LIKE!! :) ngrrr..i wanna shop pero im *gulp broke..waaahhh.. march pa next shopping trip ko ehhh :( so ill make a list:
SOCCER STUFF
shin guards or whatever you call em
socks
shoes
clothes
maybe a new bag or whatever?
or new slippers?(havaianas)
shoes(chucks, flats, heels etc)
clothes (YEAAAHH!!)
> yay!! cant wait till april 9!! (soccer)
>i wannnna shooop :(
>i need to improve my grades coz: im grounded.. cant stay out till 7:00. ngrrr
>I NEED TO GAIN WEIGHT
>i need bangs :)) and i need to get my nails done! yayy!! we're (ate tricia and i) gonna go to the salon next week.woohoo!!! :)
>i cant understand my HRR book :(
>hey godsss, sorry.. nxt week aryt? kain fest :P
bye!:D

yippee! :) LARGER VERSION

2005-02-12T07:27:00.000-08:00

ano ba yan this is confusing. a week ago i was over him tapos susunod im not tapos susunod im over him (again) LABO! pero its alryt.. im already over him its just that he's really cute.. hahah!! he's*also cuto too!! the other him! :) labolabolabo! i need to improve my grades so i can get my late night curfew.. tsss.. here's something to make you laugh: my curfew is 7:00. wooohhoo!! my parents are so strict. hmm.. yuck may kuto ung classmate ko (ang lutong nun ah) yuck nahawa ata ako (YUUUUUUUUUUUCK!) i HOPE not. tama bang ipost ko dito?? oh well.. MY BLOG.. MY STORY (story?? anak ng..) hahah :) i want s'mores (not hersheys) the DIY kind of s'mores. YUM. I NEED TO GAIN WEIGHT. kaya next week im gonna go to rockwell with godar (hey godssss) hahah :) kain-fest! woohoo!! youre kalbo naman right? so you wont get my kuto (WHAT THE FUCK) im so paranoid. well..i hope di ako nahawa. kung nalaman ko na meron ako im gonna kill her* ack di naman.. :) ill just glare at her.. ack i hope she's not reading this! :) i didnt get my french tips :( ginamit ko ung money pang *TANTARARANNNN* FOOOOOD!! yeah! :) ill update this tomorrow..byebye :)

yipeee :)

2005-02-12T07:11:00.001-08:00

i am fragile.

2005-02-10T18:49:00.000-08:00

im not happy. but im not sad. nothing's missing. but im incomplete. i am whole. but a part of me is lost. gone(?) -im crazy weirdo

But now i don't understand
why im feeling so bad now
when i know it was my idea.
i could've just denied the truth
and lied. but why am i the only
one standing strandedon the
same ground?

aww..sad song.. when i hear that song my only reaction is "ouch!" hahah.. im not talking about *him im talkin about the other *him.. labo much? ack.. we have practice later for some english play. grrr stupid Cs.. coz of them i didnt get my late night curfew. so i cant go out with my sis and benj today. grr.. i need to go to the salon!! i need a new 'look' for my hair.. something thats drastically different. no, no BOYCUT(s)? yeah and im gonna get my long awaited french manicure.. yippee!! mayb ill go to rockwll after? maybe...

p.s. im not a pretty princess okay?? i just cant remove that caption. I dont want wanna change my background naman coz it matches my shirt there sa picture. hahah.

byebye

woohoo!!Ü

2005-02-06T02:07:00.000-08:00

woohoo!! no lessons for the next 7 days!ü i cant wait till the first saturday of march!(my next shopping day) and im gonna shop till i drop! no more longsleeves for summer bebeh!ü im chattin with kevin and kate right now..ü
kate: karma..Ü tsktsk
kevin: d*****!Ü
hmm.. its kinda odd that im not depressed right now. I SHOULD be depressed right? because of(see previous entry). but im not! i guess the pain from my previous relationship made me stronger. GOOD. i dont want anyone to ruin my 'gana' for shopping.Ü
'calling someone ugly will not make you prettier'. true. very true.
'calling someone ugly will not make you prettier but it will make you feel better if that person made you feel bad'. TRUE ENOUGH!Ü
hmmm...im gonna buy another pair of havaianas and..maybe nice comfy flats? and.. heels.....ü
and tons of clothes for summer...hmm maybe a new swimsuit?Ü
tsss...ill just check my shopping list!!!ü

OH YEAH!! i have to buy soccer stuff pa pala!!! I have to buy all the soccer stuff before april 9!!
woohoo cant wait!ü
byebyeÜ
all i want is EVERYTHING

2005-01-30T06:55:00.000-08:00

he left me...i cant believe he left me... i didnt want him to go.. what did i do to deserve this bullshit??? i really like him and now i cant be with him.. there's nothing left to do but to have a good cry..

i gave him another chance...now he left me and i cant understand why..

i always end up getting hurt :(

i always end up getting hurt...

2005-01-30T01:21:00.000-08:00

kulang na kulang ba?
di pa ba sapat
inubos kong lahat
panahon ko sayo
anong gagawin
di mo napapansin
hetong damdamin
aking paglalambing

ack whats with the song?! hmm.. heard the song from denicci.. at first i didnt like it.. well.. up to now i still dont like it that much pero there's something about it.. hmm.."another happy day" i thought.. heard mass, went to rockwell..(woohoo!! shopping!!ü) tapos he txted me.. then shit happend.. im not gonna post it here coz its too... uh..personal? whatever. Everything was going ok tapos biglang he told me na doesnt want to be with me anymore..stuff like that.. well actually i was the one who told him that..sort of..ahhh!!!! whats happening to me?? basta we're having problems..HE'S having problems pala.. commitment problems.. he cant commit tapos biglang he still want us to see each other pero whats the point??????? why pursue?? i dont want to waste another F-ing tear.. whats wrong with him?!?! if he's having commitment problems then we cant be together.. i dont want to be with him anymore.. im too hurt.. i always end up getting hurt.. why cant i have that sweet, caring and nice guy i've always wanted? okay.. i have to stop running away from my feelings.. i still like him..i still want to be with him.. but he doesnt want to be with me.. (God, this shit is making me cry again..) im such a crybaby.. well.. i always end up getting hurt.. ill update this later..byebye

phil: soccer soccer soccer soccer!!!!!
shelly, leslie, panjee, den, kate: you know who im talking abt right? :(
kate:so much for our happy ending :(
shelly: i miss you duppey..:(

i always, always, always end up gtting hurt :( (ang kulit!ü)

new year, new blog?ü

2005-01-14T22:03:00.000-08:00

yeah i left my other blog coz its full of the shitty things that happend last year.. someone told me.. why dont you make a new one and put happy stuff? so did.. and the happy stuff? theyre all (not all naman..) about that person who told me to make a new blog with happy stuff... weird much? hahah!!!! shelly is here beside m laughing at the things im writing down.. hahah.. coz they dont make sense.. hahah!!ü whatever..Ü later! *mwah.. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.. not